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It seems like ghosting, situationships, and love bombing are taking a backseat in 2025, with floodlighting emerging as the latest dating trend, where a person overshares way too soonin an effort to fast-track emotional intimacy.

The new dating trend, going viral on TikTok, was coined by researcher Brené Brown, Forbes reported.

It describes a situation where a person reveals too much vulnerability at once, making the conversation feel like a test rather than a natural way to connect.

Can sharing too much too soon backfire?

Floodlighting comes from a genuine need for connection, but can have the opposite effect. Imagine a first date going well -- great conversation, laughter, and a sense of comfort. The person starts the conversation with a light-hearted story about a childhood argument over a lost toy, but soon dive into painful family conflicts.

Their date, caught off guard, doesn't know how to respond. While vulnerability can build closeness, oversharing too quickly often creates discomfort and emotional distance instead.

If someone frequently shares deeply personal experiences -- like past heartbreaks or trauma -- too soon, they might be floodlighting.

A 2022 study in Psychological Reports found that teenagers who struggle with anxiety, seek attention, or are addicted to social media were more likely to overshare online.

Is there a right time for vulnerability?

Instead of rushing to share deeply personal details, it's better to open up gradually. Before sharing, one should ask: Why am I bringing this up now? Is this the right stage in our connection for this level of sharing? Am I hoping for a specific response, like sympathy or reassurance?

Floodlighting isn't just about oversharing -- it's also about expecting the other person to respond with the same level of vulnerability. Many who do this unconsciously wait for the other person to open up just as much.

The importance of gradual sharing

According to social penetration theory, relationships develop in layers, like peeling an onion -- starting with light topics before progressing to deeper emotions. However, floodlighting skips this process, creating an imbalance where one person overshares while the other feels pressured to match their depth.

This can lead to a false sense of closeness without real trust. To build intimacy naturally:

  • Match the conversation's tone -- if it's light, keep it that way.
  • Follow the "three-date rule" for deeper topics.
  • Ask engaging but easygoing questions to keep the conversation comfortable.
  • Watch for verbal and nonverbal cues to gauge the other person's comfort level.

By allowing emotional connections to develop at their own pace, relationships become healthier and more balanced.

Building genuine connection, not seeking validation

Being vulnerable can strengthen relationships, but using it as a test for acceptance can create pressure instead of real intimacy. Oversharing too soon may be a way to seek reassurance rather than genuine connection.

A study in Emotion Review highlights that healthy relationships rely on emotional co-regulation, where partners support and balance each other's emotions. When deep personal details are shared too soon, it can put too much weight on the other person's reaction instead of letting trust grow naturally.

Deep conversations can create meaningful bonds, but timing and intent matter. Floodlighting isn't a shortcut to closeness -- it's often a risky emotional leap. Real intimacy grows with patience and mutual trust, not through testing how much someone can handle.

Originally published on IBTimes